I've been having a lot of weight in my mind lately... And those weights are making me unable to enjoy myself even spazzing to SHINee T~T
It all started around late January. My manager told me that i will be sent to a training program in Beijing for 2 weeks. He said there's no certain date yet, but it's gonna be around the beginning of March (2014), probably 1st or 2nd week of March. I was pretty ecstatic, my manager said Beijing was just across Korea so i might fly there on the weekend. And i thought, OMG 1st week of March means SHINee World Concert 3 in Seoul!!! I already asked a friend who's studying in Korea if she could help me with accommodation and stuff and she's willing to help T~T
I almost bought the concert ticket too, but they're all sold out pretty quickly, so i was hoping i can find somebody who wants to sell their ticket later nearing the concert date. I already prepared all documents needed to make my visa to go to Seoul. But then i waited for long and still there's no further notice about this training program.
One day by the 3rd week of February, suddenly my dance instructor (yes, i took a dance class for my spare time) said that there'll be a dance showcase on March 2nd, and our class is going to participate. I was pretty excited about this too coz it's gonna be a pretty big stage to perform, i can finally show what i've learned so far. But then i was kinda nervous too, what if the date is the same as my flight to Beijing? (coz manager said it's around the 1st/2nd week of March. I got me into a dilemma, if i practice for showcase and in the end the flight date is on March 2nd too, i'd feel guilty for my classmates coz they'd have to rearrange their dance formation and such, but if i don't practice and the flight is on the other day then i'd miss the showcase and regret that decision for my whole life. But despite the confusion and the uncertainty i decided to just keep practicing coz there's still no certain date for the training and since it's already a week before March i thought maybe the training's cancelled (i mean, i haven't even made my visa yet).
Everything's going smooth till suddenly i got sick around D-6 of the showcase. I caught a fever. I thought it's just a common fever that would go away after i had a day rest. But apparently it was a bit more serious. After 2 days of laying down on my bed alone in my Boarding House room, my mom came and took me home to my hometown since nobody's taking care of me (i don't really have any relatives in the town i'm working at). The doctor suspected it to be the symptoms of Typhoid Fever so i had to rest a bit longer and well i think you can guess how it ended... Yep, i skipped the showcase entirely T_____________T I was soooo upset, i had to skip work for 4 days and then skipped the showcase too. I cried A LOT during that week where i got sick, first because i missed my family (during the first days of my sickness), then coz i was upset for skipping the showcase too. But fortunately, i was getting better by the weekend so i could already go back to work by Monday (March 3rd).
Not long after i finally heard more about the training program, apparently it's gonna be held on 6th-23rd of April, so i still had a month to go. I couldn't attend SWC 3 but that's okay, i'll just save up the money and visit Korea later for a vacation. I was getting ready to get another notice from the office especially regarding the making of the visa to go to Beijing. So i carried my passport in my backpack all the time just in case it's suddenly needed. Everything's going fine and i thought it was the end of my misery, but boy how i was wrong -_____-a
On March 5th (only 2 days after i got back to work), i was having a strawberry float at Burger King in a mall near my boarding house with a friend, we were waiting for our other friends coz one of the friend was treating us for dinner in regards of her birthday. I put my backpack down near my right foot coz it's a 2-seater table and there's no other place to put my backpack. I had it laid on my right foot so i could feel it if it's being moved or anything. Apparently i had my guard down somehow coz the next thing i know, my backpack had gone. I was flabbergasted. I talked to the manager of the BK and he helped me check the security camera. Apparently the act of thievery was caught in the camera. It was the guy who sat behind me + his accomplice who sat next to our table. He was so sly and he just took off with the bag. All the important documents were there, my passport, my IDs, Driver's License, Bank books, Debit cards, my iPad, all my precious stationary, my wallet, my Taemin Please Please Please tumbler, my Cosmicaa name tag, My Etude House SHINI STAR compact and lip balm (which had finally reached the bottom of the tin where i could already see Taemin's autograph), and just EVERYTHING else OTL
Fortunately i was holding my phone at that time so the thieves didn't get my cellphone. I called the bank to block all my cards, called my mom and told her everything (which got her pretty hysterical), i reported it to the security office and finally i went to the police station to report it. I tried to remain calm during the whole procedure but in the end when i reached my boarding house, i became a sobbing mess once again. I know i won't get my bag back (not with how the policemen work in this country) but what upsets me the most is the guilt... For being stupid and careless, for losing everything and possibly give more trouble to people around me, and for risking this upcoming Beijing Trip.
My parents said it's gonna be okay, that it wasn't my fault, but still... I can't get over the fact that it was me who put that bag down and let my guard down. And now, i just skipped another 2 days of work to go back to my hometown to make new IDs and new passport. But then the bureaucracy in this country is so long-winded and slow and just downright FRUSTRATING i'm afraid i won't get my passport back by the beginning of April and now i might skip that training program too. Well, i still have time now tho and i can still put on some effort to follow the procedures as quickly as possible but i can't help but feel worried about everything. It's gonna be a very tiring process and i just feel so pressured right now. Mom said if in the end i failed and can't make it to do the training it means God has designed it to be that way, that it's the best path for me and it's gonna be okay. I do understand that but i feel like i'm gonna let many people down if i fail so... burden burden burdensssss!!!! Lots of burdens on my back.
Ah... idk how will it ends yet, but wish me luck and pray for me, may the best ending is what i'll get T~T
I'm gonna skip more work, trouble my family, spend more money, and spend more time to get the whole procedure of retrieving my passport and IDs back but i'll try my best to do everything diligently, be stronger (especially mentally), be happy and still enjoy life as much as possible and be prepared for what's gonna happen in the future.
Less tears and more smiles *chants chants*
I CAN DO IT!!!
Today, I randomly cried (just around 5 minutes ago). I’m missing home so much, I might sound like a very whiny baby, but I miss my mommy and daddy so much, also my brothers. I always thought, living alone far from home is really cool, I get to do anything as I like and have my freedom without worrying over mom’s nagging or dad’s over-protectiveness. But now as I work in different city and live by myself for the first time in my life, I get to know firsthand how lonely it can be. I can’t see my friends that I left in my home town, I can’t call mom/dad everyday coz phone bill can be expensive, and no brothers to have a fight with everyday. I always think of myself as the strong and independent woman, that I’ll survive living alone. I thought after the first week I’d get used to this lifestyle, but no, I still cry whenever I’m overwhelmed by the feelings of missing my family. And even though it’s not everyday, but I miss my home often. I’m not the type of person who shows affection a lot. I never hug/kiss my parents often. But ever since I’m living by myself, the urge to hug my parents came almost everyday. Sometimes I feel like burying my face on mom’s chest and just cry, coz I want to just stay home and never go away again. At one point I even felt like running away, stop working and just snuggling in my mom’s embrace forever. LOL, apparently I’m such a spoiled, clingy and crybaby girl XD
And now I’m kinda sick. I know it’s only the usual flu, I got this lots of time and it’s just a common disease for me. But it’s my first sickness while I’m away from the family so it feels like it’s much more than that, haha… It reminds me of how mom always reminds me to eat and take some medicines, or told me to sleep early and rest well, checking on my condition any time she can. Nobody’s doing them for me now, I need to handle everything by myself. I feel somehow sad. Not to mention according to the date it seems like I’m having PMS soon, my emotions are so unstable, haha… More reason to randomly cry over even the smallest thing :P
A couple days ago my friend’s dad died, she’s my closest colleague at work. I went to her dad’s funeral and at that time I felt like running home and hold my dad, hoping nothing will take him away from me. I cried that night and magically mom called, probably it’s her mother’s instinct, but I was glad she called, I got to hear dad’s voice too and I felt at ease instantly. I never cried on the phone, coz I don’t want to worry my parents too much, I know it’s hard for them too coz they’ve always been so over-protective towards me so letting me go to live by myself is also a hard thing to do for them. That’s why I always use my happy voice when they call me so they’d be convinced that I’m living happily here. I know it’s only (almost) 2 weeks that I live here by myself and I just got back home last week (and I’ll go back home again next week actually), so it’s still the adjustment phase. I’m pretty optimistic that I’ll do better later, I know I’ll get used to living alone one day, I just need more time. But for now I just have to cope with this loneliness… At least when I’m connected to internet I don’t feel that lonely anymore, I have my friends to talk to me and I can also contact my brother and there’s SHINee, haha! But still, I can’t wait for this Thursday when I get home. I can’t wait to be around the people I love so much. And I kinda promise myself to cherish them even more and maybe show more affection for them…
But then, I’m also not giving up… I think despite all the sufferings and everything I’ll keep pushing myself forward, forcing myself to keep fighting, so I can be a stronger and more mature person, so I won’t be afraid of anything anymore. I know that my parents want me to fight too. So I’m not letting them down. I’ll prove to myself that I AM independent, I AM strong and I AM brave. I hope I can adjust with this new life soon. Let’s fighting!!! I know I can do it!!! WOOT!!! Give it up, give it up, give it up for Sashiiii~
OMG OMG OMGGG!!!!
So yesterday i was meeting my thesis advisor...
Being in my last year of college i'm aiming to graduate on October which means that i have to do my thesis final presentation on Sept. 28th at the latest and have my thesis seminar at least a week before the final presentation.
Me and my lab partner (we're working on the similar topic for our thesis so he's like my teammate) were planning to have our seminar at around the 15th or 17th, or sometimes around the teen-th dates (idek if that's a word XD) so we can have our final presentation at sometimes around 22nd or maybe later so we have more time to prepare.
Yesterday was the first day we came to campus after the 2-weeks holiday (coz we celebrated Eid) and we came directly to our thesis advisor's office to consult about our thesis' progress and maybe told him about our initial plan of our ideal seminar+final presentation time.
What we didn't expect was our advisor to drop the bomb first by telling us that he'll be very busy in the 2nd week of September and he has to fly to Korea on the 3rd week, so the latest we can have a seminar is on September 7th!!!!! And that's only a week away!!! I mean, we just got the result of our speciment's last test from the testing lab on the day before so we haven't process and analyze the data O_______________O
We were just stunned there, shocked and speechless XDDD And we can't even refuse because we didn't have any other choice, LOL! our advisor said our final presentation will be on the 4th week of September around 24th-28th after he gets back from Korea so we'll get almost 3 weeks after the seminar to prepare and revise our thesis for final presentation (and that's actually a good thing XD). I'm getting so stressed out right now. I mean, i'm a positive and an optimistic person so i pretty much believe that we can make it for next friday but i'm so nervous, hahaha! So nervous i feel like crying at random times XDDD But well, this is what i've been waiting for, i honestly think the faster the better so i can just get it over with (coz the longer i delay it, the lazier i get :P), but really, i get nervous easily especially when i'm not prepared enough, haha... But yeah, i still have a week to prepare so i hope i'll get more confident in the future.
I've been waiting for graduation since forever and now i'm getting one step closer to it... I'm terrified out of my mind but i'm also excited for it so i'll try my best. I'm happy that many friends said they'll come to my seminar and support me, i hope i'll do well and make my parents and friends proud (^o^)v
So here i go~
Wish me luck guys! \(*o*)/
P.S: I knew that this day would come eventually and i should have been expecting it but... OMGGGG!!! IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!!!! *hysterical* @_____________@
Two days ago i had a surprise meeting with someone from my past, someone that i thought i've forgotten completely from my life. Well, it's not exactly a planned meeting, i just coincidentally saw him at the supermarket where me and my mom went shopping to. If someone ask me who he is (or more like, was) to me, i wouldn't be able to tell, mainly because we never labelled our relationship, so i simply have no idea of who he was for me. But we did have quite a story back then :P So just to give a little background story, i'll tell some little things about what we had in the past.
It started around, hmm... 9 or 10 years ago? I was on the 2nd grade of middle school (LOL, i know i was a kid back then, but don't judge me by my age, i knew what i had back then was real :P), he was in the same year as me, but not in the same class, he's from the next class. I didn't know about his existence at first until a friend of mine told me about him... He said this kid in the next class was interested in me. I was taken aback since nobody had ever showing any interest on me during my middle school year, so i was curious YEAH~ (pardon my Shawol mind XD) I told my friend that we could be friends if he wanted and i gave my number in hope that he would initiate the first move (LOL, why am i getting so embarrassed talking about this??? >///<). And apparently he did! 8D He texted me that night telling me that he wanted to get to know me and i was like, "Okay, let's be friends~ (coz i want to know about you too~)"
And everything went from there, we texted everyday (and night) talking about some random stuff. We got closer by the day and i started to develop this feelings for him... The feelings that (i thought) he had for me too... So after several weeks (or months, i can't even remember clearly) we started to say some cheesy stuff to each other... like, "I miss you", "I like you so much", things like that. But even though we kinda confessed to each other back then, we never really had an official relationship (or in simple word, "dating"), mainly because i told him that my parents wouldn't let me date a guy before i go to college. So being the good kids that we were, we refrained ourselves from "illegal dating" (the one kids our age back then used to do behind their parents' back XD) and was contented by our "intense cheesy texting" XDDD And by that i really meant that we only texted each other back then, well, there were several phone calls but that's just it! The weirdest thing on our relationship was the fact that we've never talked face to face even once. When we met each other at school, we never greeted each other, we didn't even acknowledge each other's present. It was as if we're both just... strangers. But when we're out of school (with our old phones in our hand) we're like the most romantic couple ever, hahaha!!! That's why even though we acted like strangers in public, almost everybody in our year knew about us. They all knew about our (not so) secret relationship and automatically considered us as a dating couple (tho as i said, we're not XD).
All in all, there were a lot of things happened, some were not so good (like this one girl, who apparently had the same name as me, who had a huge crush on him too and confronted me about it, asking me if i really love him and if we're really dating and so on, but that's another story for another time, so let's forget about it :P), and most were fluffy and happy, i felt so loved and cared and i felt like the happiest teenage girl in the universe XDDD (LOL you know love can get you that feeling).
But then suddenly he grew more distant... he stopped texting me and replying to my text gradually till one day he was gone... completely ignoring me... completely being the stranger that he were before "us" started. It was maybe after a year of our texting relationship, on the 3rd year of middle school. I was confused... i asked his friends what happened till i finally got the answer... He fell for this other girl... his classmate... And since we never had the official relationship, i guess it just wasn't my place to demand for explanation, i had no right to claim him "mine". And i was crushed... i was really broken, all my happy days with him were abruptly taken away by the presence of another girl...
It took me over a year to completely recover from the pain. I cried myself to sleep every single night for over a year, it was a painful experience... And after i managed to stop feeling sad and grief i started to feel anger and hate. I felt so betrayed that i felt sick every time i think about him... And finally after months of hating, i finally felt numb. I didn't feel anything when i thought about him... No sadness, no anger, no hate, no pain, and most importantly... no love. It's back to square one... back to complete strangers...
And so... back to the present (fiuh, curse my bad habit, i tend to talk more than needed so now the so-called background story had grown into a one shot by itself OTL), as i said before i already reached my "numb" phase long ago, i never feel anything special on him anymore (both in positive or negative way). I even kinda stalk through his facebook (yeah, we're friends in facebook, i didn't even remember how that happened O_____o) just to see how he's doing and i actually smiled looking at his profile, thinking, "Aah... so he's graduated from college" "Aah... so doing this now... he's doing that now..." something like that and i can actually smile thinking about everything that happened between us, thinking that it's just some funny memories from the past. So naturally i thought that even when i'd see him again (in front of my eyes), i would also feel nothing and laugh about it after.
But then i saw him 2 nights ago... for the first time after years i saw him with my own eyes... right in front of me... so close i could reach him with my hands... And what i felt was the complete opposite. To say that i was shocked was an understatement, no... i was more than shocked... i was paralyzed... i was so shaken if i didn't grab my trolley i knew i would collapse... My heart skipped a beat (or maybe more, just like what's written in most of the fanfictions) and i felt something foreign... I felt a pang in my heart that i couldn't recognize as anything, it's just there, somehow aching for an unknown reason. It's like the gate to all my locked feelings was re-opened that i felt all the mixed feelings inside, sadness, pain, loneliness, anger, just everything. I had this sudden strong urge to cry over all the overwhelming feelings and so i did a mini-mental-breakdown, i cried on the inside, my inner me was crying in pain that i thought i would never experience again. I was trembling and i tried my best to put on my poker face (coz i held my pride too, i don't want to show him how much he affected me, how vulnerable i was on his presence), but it's pretty hard so i kept my head low so if the worst would happen and i accidentally dropped a tear, no-one would know.
And the worst thing was that mom just had to shop in the same section as him so i had to survive some (pretty long) awkward moments being so close to him (it was really close that we almost brushed against each other for several times). It was very suffocating... i couldn't breath properly when i was near him, i just wanted to run away, far far away from him, but i didn't want to seem like a coward so i (forced myself to) stay, hoping that he would go away soon. I kinda stole some glances towards his face, searching for a tiniest sign of recognition that he actually remember me, remember my face. But it's either he's a good actor who put his poker face pretending that he didn't know me or he just simply didn't recognize me O____O Coz i couldn't find any sign.
It hurts to think that he might not even remember everything we had in the past, everything we shared. It really hurts to think that he didn't even remember ME... that we've never been more than strangers... oh and did i say that he's with a girl??? (i'm assuming she's his girlfriend coz she didn't look like his relatives or anything, and i KNOW that he doesn't have female siblings) So yeah, it kinda doubled the pain (tho i doubt that it was jealousy that i felt).
And so finally after the agonizing minutes of being with him, he finally left with his girl, away from me and slowly... i regained my composure once again... But then i felt something else... when i was finally far and safe away from him, i actually had this longing feeling, like i secretly wanted him to stay... like i missed him. It was weird, all my feelings were so mixed up i couldn't even give a proper respond to my mom when she asked something. I just wanted to get out of there, go back home and wallow in my sorrow.
During my whole trip back home i thought about the unexpected event that night. Despite my pounding heart, the ache in my chest subsided and i could think more clearly. I was thinking... maybe... just maybe... maybe i wasn't entirely moved on. Maybe the numb feeling i felt before was only a mask to hide the real feelings i still have. Maybe when my brain told me it's over, my heart didn't feel the same. Maybe my heart unconsciously still yearn for him. Maybe deep down inside i still have a tiny fraction of love for him... And suddenly it dawned on me that... i never love anyone like i did to him. He's my first love... and no one can ever forget their first love (or so it said). So then i came to a conclusion... that night... i learned something special...
Yes, First love indeed never dies~rst
It all started 2 days ago. My 1st brother suddenly asked me, "Hey sis, wanna come with me tomorrow? Me and my gf are going to go to that haunted house at Festival Citylink." I was interested, really, but i don't want to be the 3rd wheel for my bro and his gf, so my bro told me to ask my best friend to go with us so i wouldn't be alone. So i asked my bff and she agreed to come with us. (Actually i asked my maknae brother to come w/ me but he's too scared and refused almost instantly, LOL!)
Around 3PM yesterday we all gathered in Festival Citylink (a pretty big mall) and went straight to the top floor where the haunted house was located. In front of the gate we started to smell some weird scent, it's the scent of the things that people usually burn when they're having funeral or other mystical activities... The scent was pretty overwhelming and started to make us nervous.
Near the ticket stand, on one corner we could see a swing... There was a ghost-woman with long hair and white clothes playing with the swing, and on the other corner there was another ghost woman sitting on a wheelchair. The whole theme of the haunted house is "Hantu Suster Keramas" (it's Indonesian, in English it's The Ghost of a Hair-Washing Nurse, LOL, it sounds REALLY weird! I don't really get it actually, but it's pretty popular, i guess it's a story about a nurse who's got killed while she's washing her hair *???*, i really don't know, i'm not a ghost expert, haha!) and the setting looks like a haunted hospital.
So i was pretty nervous when we all stood in front of the entrance to the haunted house, but my bro insisted that we all should go inside. Actually there's this rule... we can get in as a group together, but only 5 people max for each group. There's this girl, i guess she came w/ her family, she really wanted to go to the haunted house and she's really scared, but her family didn't want to accompany her, so her mother asked our group to go inside together w/ her. And since there's only 4 of us, we gladly accepted another company for our group and it all started. My brother got in first, he's the one leading the group since he's the only male in the group, his gf was hiding behind him and the unknown girl behind her, while me and my bff is at the back of the group. I held my bff's hand tightly and we promised each other not to let go so we wouldn't be separated.
Right after passing the 1st door (the entrance door), we were welcomed by this female ghost holding a baby, she was on my left. I didn't want to see her so i kept my eyes to the front and checked her out through the corner of my eyes. It was silent at first but when we passed by her, suddenly there's this scary laughing voice of the ghost, it was so scary! We started to scream and hurriedly went to the next door. To be honest, after the 1st encounter with the ghost, i decided to close my eyes and close my ear with one of my hand and let my bff dragging me around, LOL! *i'm such a coward* But i tried peeking up a bit in some places to see the surroundings.
On the next room i didn't see the ghosts (coz i closed my eyes obviously), but there were several explosion sounds around and it made us all very jumpy and we screamed every time we heard the noisy sound. And then there was this ghost on my left (i'm not sure if it's male or female coz i'm too scared to see, i think it's male), the ghost was behind a metal fence and when we passed he started to shake the fences and scream. It's very shocking and we started to run and go to the next room.
Actually i have this weird habit, when i get really scared, i tend to freeze on the spot and give up, haha...! So if my friend let go of my hand and left me, i guess i would stuck inside freezing, too afraid to go back, and too afraid to continue the journey myself, LOL! *i'm such a loser* Fortunately my bff is a very nice and loyal friend, she never let me go and keep tugging my hand so i'd move forward, haha... So the next few rooms passed by as a blur for me since i just let myself being dragged by my best friend and i keep my eyes closed as much as i can, but all i know was that there were loud noises around and there were more than 1 ghost in most of the rooms screaming and shocking us with their sudden appearance and some of the ghost even approached us and followed us behind. And since i'm in the very back of the group, i could totally feel the ghost approaching me and slightly touching my clothes, OMG!!! O.O
I was screaming like crazy and almost gave up myself and stop walking but again my bff was being a hero. She tugged my hand so i kept running and the ghosts were left behind (though not for long coz there'd be new ghosts waiting for us ahead).
It was pretty crazy, the ghosts kept popping out of nowhere and the noises were so loud until we got into this room, it looked like a morgue, there's a bed there and the weirdest thing about that room was that it's so silent, there's not a single sound around and i swear to God, it made everything much creepier than before. It's too quiet for my liking, so different with the noisy atmosphere on the previous rooms. We were getting more cautious, expecting any suprises around, i was whimpering like a kicked puppy, too scared to even open my eyes. My friend said that there's a human head on the bedpost hanging or something... GOSH THAT'S REALLY CREEPY!!! And suddenly a nurse ghost appear from one of the corner, we were screaming like crazy and ran for our life out of that room.
Next few rooms came as a blur again for me but there's this male ghost, i didn't know since when, but he's been following me around, he's right behind me and kept whispering words next to my ear, saying, "I'll follow youu~ I'll follow youu~" And he keeps getting close to me, i was really scared i couldn't even look behind, all i know was that he kept following us no matter where we go.
So we continued our journey, my friend was still holding my hand tightly. We got into this room, there were 2 ghosts there, the female long-haired ghost and the black male ghost, we were so scared and started to run to the door for the next room. My brother was leading us to the door, but then he couldn't find the door, we started to get panic because we knew the ghosts were still there and they could reach us anytime. My brother started to get panic too and kept saying, "I can't find the door, this is not the door, where is the door?" Suddenly someone tapped his shoulder, he knew it's one of the ghost but he tried to be brave and turned his head around to face the ghost, it was the black ghost, but instead of scaring my brother away, he was pointing to the direction of the real door, LOL! HE WAS HELPING US, LOLOLOLOL!!! My brother thanked him and we started to run to the door. I kept my eyes shut but nearing the door to the next room i was pretty sure i could feel a touch of some hair on my face, it must be the ghost's long hair, idk, it was weird and scary. >,<
And then we got into this hospital room, there were some beds there for the patient. In the corner of my eyes i could see some nurse ghosts crawling on the floor, some of them kept yelling, "I need legs... i need legs..." I don't know if it's out of fear or something else, but when the ghosts started yelling asking for new legs, my bff yelled back, "NO WAY!!!" Hahahaha... She's getting into her bitchy mode, LOL! She was yelling to most of the ghosts telling them to back off or just simply complaining to them that they surprised her and honestly it made me feel a bit relaxed knowing that she's there and she's "fighting" the ghosts, LOL!
But then there's this one nurse ghost, she's crawling silently towards us and since i'm in the back of the line, when i passed by her, she was already right next to me and all in a sudden... SHE GRABBED MY LEG. O.o HOMG!!!!!!! KYAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~AAAAAAAKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! I was screaming the hardest as i could and jumping around trying to get her off me and finally she let me go. GOSH!!! I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE!!! *over-dramatic*
So we ran to the next room, this weird male ghost was still following me and suddenly... We met the other group the went inside before us!!! HORRAAYYY!!! More company!!! One of them seemed so weak like she's gonna collapse in every second. A guard was helping her out and we all went through a couple more doors before we reached the last door. I think the ghosts were pitying the nearly collapsed girl so they didn't scare us aggressively as before, they were calmer and didn't try to approach us anymore, just screamed a little bit to surprise us, haha... i passed this one ghost, he was silent at first but when i passed by him he screamed at me and waved his long white outfit and the fabric brushed my face a bit and i was -___-" LOL! (but i still screamed a bit out of surprise, hehe...) And finally we reached the last room! (THANK GOD!!!!!!!)
There's this one ghost on my left, when my brother's gf passed by him he was tugging at her shirt aggressively, she was so scared and started to scream for help, "NOOO!!! HELP MEE!!! HELP MEE!!!!" and when it's my turn to pass by him, i could already see the lights from the outside world and i felt safe already, so when he started to growl at me i faced him and growl back, "RRRAAWWWRRRR!!!" Hahahahahaha......! That was pretty funny i guess! And FINALLY WE'RE OUT!!! My bff collapsed on the floor, she was so relieved that it ends already. My heart clenched painfully inside my chest because of the overwhelming fear and shock. After that we started to laugh at our stupidity and started to recall all the things that happened inside.
Apparently the weird male ghost that keeps following me was a guard from the entrance door, after we all got in he put on a doctor coat, pretending to be a doctor ghost and followed us to helped us if any one of us would collapse, just like the group before us... And he's the one holding the hair in front of my face to make me feel like there's a ghost hanging above me, haha...! My brother said that he saw him while he's doing that, LOL!!!
And then we bought another ticket to watch the 4D Horror Cinema, i thought it would be scary but apparently it's an animation movie and it's funny, not scary at all, haha...! After that my brother and his gf went back home earlier while me and my bff decided to go to the supermarket to buy some drinks and hang around for a bit. While we're in the middle of the supermarket... BAM!!! IT'S BLACKOUT!!! And i was, "GOD, PLEASE, NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!" And thankfully not long after the electricity went back on and we were laughing together, hahaha... I almost freaked myself out there, thinking that there'd be another ghost appear. And my friend said, "I thought it's a special edition and the ghosts are following us here" LOL! And unconsciously i kept sticking around my bff, too scared to be apart from her, haha...!
And now, i'm happy that i'm safe at home, far away from those scary ghosts, i made a promise to myself that I WILL NEVER GO TO A HAUNTED HOUSE EVER AGAIN!!! I will go to a haunted house again only if LEE TAEMIN of SHINee ask me too, haha... and only for him (which is almost impossible) and he has to go inside with me, hahaha... *in my dream* So don't bother asking me, hehehehe...!
I'm feeling a bit accomplished right now for being able to pass the whole journey without fainting, haha! But i really don't want to be in that situation again, hehe... It's not good for my heart, i want to live longer, LOL!
So this is it for now, i hope i'll have more things to share in the future ^_^ <3
I've been thinking lately...
At first i made this journal for reading purpose only... And then i started to befriend a lot of great authors so i'd know more about them and maybe i'd get inspired by their awesome talents. I enjoy my time in LJ so much that i visit my fave LJ community everyday... I just love to read fanfics :D
But i think, i should write something here, too! Maybe not a fanfic or any kind of stories, but i'm planning to make more use of my journal, maybe as a place for me to vent my emotions or my experience that i had on the day. It can be a way for me to learn how to write properly in English (since English is not my native language). So, i hope i can post more in the future and improve myself through it. Hehe...
HWAITING!!! *\(^o^)/* (cheering myself)
For being overly posessive over someone...
I know it's not right, and sometimes it makes me feel like a freak...
But i just can't deny what i'm feeling right now.
I should stop it...
Stop being a posessive person...
Hurts so bad to me...
And maybe to that someone too...
So i'll just cry my heart out now...
Let my tears wash away all the negative feelings out of my chest...
And try pulling myself together...
I'll try to change...
For a better life ahead...
So let's just stop being an overly posessive bitch, shall we?
So here i am, finally trying to make my first post here, haha...
Well, i took me a while to think of what i'm gonna write here, so finally i decided to just give some slight introduction, more about why i'm creating an account here in the first place.
So let's just start...
Why am i here? Making an account?
Well, the answer is plain simple, because i LOVE reading SHINee's fanfics!
Actually to be honest, i was never really interested in reading any fanfic until one time i decided to try and got addicted ever since, haha...!
Then i started to find more fics and i figured that i found most of them here on Live Journal, that's why i decided to make an account, in order to read more fics, and be friends with all the great fanfic writers out there, hehe...!
My OTP is 2MIN and HyunMin (maybe because my bias in the whole Kpop universe is Taemin, so i just love pairings that includes Taemin in it). But i don't mind reading fics about OnKey coz they're just adorable together! But overall i just love reading all kinds of SHINee's fics with all different pairings and genres (and ratings), haha...! All because i just love all 5 SHINee members.
So i'll just stop blabbering and continue reading coz apparently that's what i do best. I don't think i can write any fics, i'm not much of a writer so i'll just read. Well i'll write something in my journal, but i won't write fics i guess (except if one day i just feel like doing it, who knows?! Haha...), i think i will just post something related to what i experienced in my personal life, so don't expect too much, hehe...!
Oh, and for anyone that i added as friend, please don't get freaked out on me, i just want to know all the great fanfic writers out there, so please be kind to me and let's just be friends, hehe...!
Lastly i'd like to thank all the writers out there for introducing the magic world of fanfics to me! Please write more! You guys are great! I wish i have the talent, hehe...!
So this is the end of my introduction, i hope i can update my page more often. See you later then!
( ^_^ )/